This has been a full day and I’m overdue for some sleep. But, I don’t have all the projects done that I need to accomplish. Seems that’s my story every day. It’s not that I’m lazy – I’m working diligently all the time – there just don’t seem to be enough hours.

I did go visit with friends tonight for about 2 1/2 hours. But one has to have some fun in the days as well as work.

I’ve been working on the cover for the cookbook I am putting together from the past 15 years of my columns in Kansas Country Living magazine. They generously gave me permission to make a book from them and I’ve been working on that. The difficulty now is that I’ve got to find someone to print it for a price that makes it reasonable enough that anyone will want to buy it.

It’s going to be a straightforward book – basically photocopies of the columns – with a cover, binding, etc. The binding is the cost that’s out of control. I haven’t found any place locally that will do it for anything I consider a reasonable price. I may have to shop around in Wichita a bit. Or, at some point it may make more sense to use an online service to print it. We’ll see. I want to have this done in time for Christmas this year so I have to figure it all out soon.

So many things I’d like to do and just not enough time to get them all done. I stopped at the library tonight and left with a stack of books, as I always do when I set foot in there. I’m still totally enthralled with the concept of public libraries.

At the moment I’m reading, "Lamb," a book Andrea gave me earlier this year that I hadn’t gotten to. It is a hilarious read. If you have any suggestions for books I should read during my upcoming recuperation, please share. I’m always on the lookout for good books. I need another "Geography of Bliss" in my life.

Speaking of books, if you’re in Hutchinson or environs, remember that Daniel Pink is speaking at the Dillon Lecture Friday morning. I’m going to refresh my memory on his book. Frankly, I highlighted so many things in it that I probably need to read it 2-3 more times. Anyway, people are always asking how I know about things happening – well, here you go – it’s happening Friday morning at 10:30 – so be there!
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This may be the last bouquet of the season. My flowers are nearing the end of their life cycle. Of course, it has been chilly here off and on for a few weeks, so it’s not surprising that the flowers are about done, but nonetheless it’s one of the obvious signs of the seasonal changes.

I stopped taking flowers into the office a few weeks ago when they became ragged looking. Some of them have hung on during these cold nights, but most are about finished.

I grew all of these things from seed when I was so infatuated with growing flowers this spring. I think after surgery I just needed to see new life and that was one way to do it. Now I’m facing more surgery as the last blooms are coming through.

Sharon and her crew came over a few days ago and cleaned up my yard, pulling out the plants that were done and tidying everything up. I was so relieved to pull into the drive and see it done. It has been on my mind how I would get it done so I’m so thankful to her for doing it. She owns Releaf Landscapes and is very generous with her talents.

This has been a very difficult day, mentally preparing for surgery. I had psyched myself up for surgery but they threw me a curve ball today when I visited with the surgeon. Then I got back to work and found yet another curve ball. So, it has been a difficult day. But, I’ll manage. I have no other choice.

I got to see Steve briefly tonight. He drove Greg back to Hutchinson from Joplin and we visited for just a little bit. He was turning right around and going back to Joplin. I always enjoy visiting with Steve. He’s a great writer, and like all good writers, thinks about things in a different way, which I enjoy.

I’m feeling rather disconnected these days. I have that feeling of "circling the wagons" and preparing things like I did earlier this year. The difference this time is that I’m doing it alone, but that’s okay. This isn’t the same sort of situation. Part of me wants to postpone this, but a bigger part of me wants to start 2010 fresh, with none of this hanging over me.

Well, it’s time for me to head upstairs. I couldn’t get to sleep last night for a long time, and then woke up really early this morning, so I’m tired. Maybe tonight I’ll be so tired I’ll sleep despite what’s on my mind.
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Check www.patsyterrell.com for the blog, art, cooking and more. Find me on Facebook, Twitter, Plurk and other social media sites of your choosing.

All text and photos on this website are copyright Patsy Terrell, unless otherwise noted. All rights reserved. None are to be used without permission. Thank you.

This week I got to have lunch with Sharon (left) and Andrea. We all worked at the same radio station years ago. It seems like it was a long, long, long time ago – 20 years maybe. Sharon is still in radio, but Andrea and I have both moved on to other things now.

Sharon lives in Michigan, where she manages a radio station. She was visiting here and asked if we could get together. It was great to see her. The three of us had lunch and caught up a bit.

I am always impressed when people make an effort to connect when they’re traveling. It’s no easy feat to make the arrangements and make that happen. I’ll confess I’m not very good at it, myself. I always have the best of intentions but it rarely goes beyond that.

With facebook these days it’s amazing how connected we all are, regardless of where we live. But, nothing is the same as sitting down across the table from someone and visiting.
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A week or two ago I was looking at the vision collage on my wall and thinking, "hmmm… gosh…. maybe it’s time to do a new one of those."

It was this collage I did with friends at a retreat in Ramona in April of last year.

The thought didn’t go any further than that, but it did cross my mind to do a new one. Well, when I came home from the hospital the other day, the collage had lost the pushpins holding it to the wall on the top and was bent over so it’s no longer visible.

I guess if one were looking for a sign, that might be it. The whole point of vision collages is that you need to be able to see them everyday. This one, conveniently, has just made itself invisible. It’s time for a new one.

However, today was not the day for it. Today I cleaned off my desk at home. And it took all day. Embarrassing, huh? But now there’s a vast expanse of wood showing.

I’m going to make an effort to keep it this way. I’m so sick of not being able to use my desk effectively because it’s covered with stuff. And it’s not stuff I particularly need handy, apparently, because it just piles up. I’m not actually using it, I’m just storing it on top of the desk. That is not a good way to live.

It was a good thing for me to do with my time, because I decided to take it easy this weekend. I’m a little sore just from the moving around taking things from one room to another, but feeling better all the time. I think in another day or two I’ll be feeling pretty normal.

I am so dreading having more surgery. I can’t even really express how much I’m dreading it in so many ways. One of the things I’ve learned in the last few months is that people in your world get very weary of hearing about your concerns about such things. So, I’ve learned to keep them to myself by and large. But, when you’re the one on this side of the equation you can’t help but think about the "what-ifs."

Yes, this is a "minor" surgery. When you’re the one being cut open nothing seems minor. And I don’t even feel fully recovered from the last time I was cut open. But, no matter how many tears I cry over it or how scared I am, it’s still going to have to be done. So, I’m working on changing my attitude about it. My current one is not going to be a good way to go under. So, I’m going to have to get a new one. Quickly.

I’m allowing myself to wallow until midnight tonight and then that’s it. So, I’ve got another 26 minutes to fret and freak out and then I have to make a mental shift.

It takes considerable mental energy to make that sort of a shift and I’m running a little low on that these days, so I’m conserving my energy on all fronts to devote to this. This has been a year much loss for me – everything from body parts to a dear friend to some really painful emotional losses – but life goes on and I’m going to have to go with it.

One of the things I repeated to myself for many months after my mother’s death was, "The sun is gonna rise in the morning." No matter what is going on in my life, the sun will come up, the world will spin, and life will go on.
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I’ve spent the weekend working around the house and have made some progress. That is not to say that things are tidy and orderly, but they’re a bit better. I’m not sure exactly what my difficulty is with getting organized and staying that way. I suspect it may be that I have more things than I have room for. When you don’t have enough "away," it’s hard to put things away.

It was a gorgeous weekend here, and unfortunately I didn’t really get to enjoy it, although today Greg and I did go out to the flea market. (Reference the last sentence of the previous paragraph.)

I bought a few old, hand crocheted potholders and doilies, but those were not my "big" purchases. I bought a box of old Christmas ornaments for $2, and a Winart Pottery Teapot for another $2. It’s pink with brown on it and a very large teapot. I will try to get a photo soon and post it. From my reading online tonight I understand Winart Pottery operated in Miami, Oklahoma from 1951 to 1972. This is in great shape but I guess I need to find out if it’s something people are trying to collect before I start putting boiling water into it. I bought it just to use as a teapot but I’d hate to ruin something that someone would just love to have for a collection. So, I’ll check into that a bit.

You may have noticed photos on the blog are harder to come by these days. The reason is not that I’ve lost interest in doing that, it’s because my computer has gotten slow in its old age. Twice now I have been at Best Buy and said, "Okay, I’ll take this one…" and they don’t have it in stock. At this point I think I should wait until the day after Thanksgiving and see if there are any spectacular bargains. Although that seems a long time for now it’s only about seven weeks. Anyway, if you’ve noticed I haven’t been working with the blog as much that’s why. It is a real struggle to log into the necessary programs sometimes. Rest assured that as soon as the computer is replaced I will be bombarding the blog with at least one post a day, and sometimes more. This thing has served me well, but it is ready to be retired soon.

I took this photo in Iowa last weekend, outside an Amish bakery. It was a real Amish bakery, with no electric lights. I guess all the baking is done with gas. I live near an Amish community and I respect the ideals, but I have to say I’m always a bit puzzled by these sorts of things. The idea is to remain separate from "the English," as they call the non-Amish. It’s hard for me to see how having a retail business guaranteed to draw the very people you supposedly want to keep your distance from fits into that picture. I’m always curious about such things that seem to be complete contradictions to me. I’m sure there’s more to it than I understand.

This has been a nice weekend – the first one I’ve had completely free in a few months. I can’t say I’ve done anything that most folks would find enviable, but I needed to be in my house and quiet and somewhat still. I haven’t had much stillness lately, and I need some of that every week. Just like I need some alone time.

The last couple of weeks have been beautiful here, but they’re saying later this week it is going to get cold and we might even have some snow. I’m not ready for that yet. I haven’t even fully enjoyed the garden yet, and they’re talking about snow. The seasons are moving too quickly for me. In fact, the whole world is moving too quickly for me at the moment. I need things to slow down just a little bit so I can fully enjoy and appreciate them.

I talked to Mary Ann yesterday. She goes for her surgery Monday to remove the lung cancer. It will probably be about noon when they start. We’re very optimistic – it’s a small place and they anticipate they’ll be able to remove all of it, but it’s always frightening when your loved ones are having any kind of surgery. Your good thoughts are most appreciated.
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I spent last night in Winfield, Kansas, southeast of Wichita. I was there to teach two classes today about social networking. These are groups of rural tourism folks, and this is a project of the Kansas Sampler Foundation.

I arrived too late last night to do any exploring, but couldn’t resist this photo of the Union State Bank. I loved the sign and the graceful archways. Unfortunately, I didn’t get a chance to explore today either because I needed to head back after class. I hadn’t been to Winfield in awhile and need to get back there soon. They just completed the Walnut Valley Festival that draws people from all over the world.

In these classes I teach folks blogging, facebook and twitter. Do I think those will always be THE things? No. But I know technology never goes backward and we’re going to be using something. And if people know how to use these things, they can transfer that knowledge to whatever the next thing is.

I never feel like I cover everything sufficiently, but at least people get some idea of how it works and can experiment with it on their own later. In every class some folks are brand new to these concepts and some are further down the road. Regardless of where people are, there is potential. Great potential.

I stress to them that the lives we’re leading on the prairie are exotic to others, just as a life in downtown Cairo would be exotic to us. And I encourage them to be out there promoting their message, whatever that is.

I’m thrilled to be part of this project for numerous reasons.
1. I believe there is tremendous potential in using social networking to promote rural tourism. It’s free. It’s available. It’s global.
2. The Kansas Sampler Foundation is an amazing organization, and unlike anything I know of anywhere else. If you’re looking for quality, that’s it. I’m flattered they asked me to participate. It’s the equivalent of the Good Housekeeping Stamp of Approval.
3. It’s wonderful to meet the folks in these classes. Many of them are from very small communities and are doing incredible things.
4. I want other people to understand the thrill of exploring rural areas. There’s nothing else quite like it. I think social networking can help people understand what there is out there, just waiting to be discovered.

If you’ve never taken the time to explore in your own area, do it this weekend. I promise it’s rewarding. Get in your car, drive to a rural area, start talking to people, and find out what’s unique about it. Then tell others. Buy some stamps at the local post office (small post offices are always in danger of closing – buying stamps there helps their bottom line), pick up some basics at the local grocery store (did you know grocery stores have to buy $10,000 worth of product weekly to get delivery? help those folks who are keeping the stores open in small communities), shop, eat, get gas, and otherwise make an impact. Trust me, your visit – one person or one group – can make a difference. Do it.

When these classes are finished and everyone has their pages up and running I’m going to print a list here, so you can see what folks in rural Kansas are doing. You’ll be amazed.
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This week has zipped by and I feel like I didn’t accomplish very much during it. In fact, I never even got my to-do list rewritten, which was going to be the first thing I did Tuesday morning. But, my days just didn’t go as I had planned, and it never happened.

At home I’ve created a huge mess working on the office. I’m hoping this weekend I can make some headway on that. Next weekend I’ll have company for the fair so people do need to be able to walk through my house, which at the moment is not really possible. There are paths in the dining room where I pulled stuff from the office. I’m going to aim higher than just pathways.

I was industrious enough to mow the front yard tonight. It got dark before I got the back done but I didn’t want to be the person who’s front yard was a mess when we’re expecting so many visitors in town. I guess that’s my civic duty for the day.

Today is the first day of the Kansas State Fair. Generally I go the first night but not this year. But, tomorrow. I love the Fair. People whine about the traffic and the people and the noise and the dust and the whatever. I love it. Not all those things in particular, but there’s plenty to love.

The fair is a great example of taking advantage of what’s in your own backyard. It’s the largest event in the state and it happens in the town where I live. All I have to do is just drive a couple of miles and walk in. It’s not uncommon to run across people who live in Hutchinson and never go to the fair. The biggest event in the state is happening, people are coming from all over for it, and people here won’t drive five minutes to go.

No doubt tomorrow I’ll be looking at jars of jelly with blue ribbons and picking up whatever this year’s favorite freebie is. Expect to see photos.

Do something fun in your own backyard this weekend.
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The big news in our little burg tonight is that the local high school football team won their first game 55-27 against their big rival that beat them last year. The local team has won five straight state championships and are hoping for a sixth this year.

You might wonder if I have suddenly begun following high school sports. No, rest assured, that is not the case. I do think it’s cool they’ve won five years in a row, and a I appreciate the difficulty of that, and I love it that many people came to town today for the game and some of them will stay all night, buy gas, eat in our restaurants, etc., but that is about all the energy I can muster for it

Frankly, I didn’t even know they were on a winning streak with the state championships until they were three years in. I’m not a big sports fan, what can I say?

But, tonight they played in the newly redone Gowan’s stadium, which reminded me that I played a role in tonight’s game because I supported that. Recently we have the opportunity to vote to upgrade the stadium. I’d never been in it in all the years I’ve lived here. I haven’t been in it since, although I saw some TV footage of the before and after and it looked impressive.

But, when I was in the voting booth, I voted "yes" on spending tax money to upgrade it. Yes, that’s right, I willingly voted to raise my taxes in order to have money for something that I don’t use. And I did it without hesitation. You might ask why a person would do such a thing.

Well, because I saw it as a valuable thing for the community as a whole and because I want people who love sports to be able to indulge their passions, just as I want to indulge mine at the arts center or the library or whatever – not that those are mutually exclusive, I’m just using them as examples. Just because I don’t use something personally doesn’t mean it’s not a valuable resource. I don’t drive on every road or read every book in the library, but those are things I support too – happily so.

This is what living in a "community" is all about to me – we pool our resources so everyone can have what they want/need. Obviously, building a football stadium is out of the financial reach of most people – even if every game is a sell out and everyone contributes a few bucks,  it’s not going to build a stadium, or even upgrade one.

But, when everyone in a community chips in we can have a beautiful stadium and a well-stocked library and good roads and the water park and public golf courses. I use two of those five things. I support the others happily and willingly. I want everyone to have access to the things that thrill them. That’s not football for me, although I did turn on the radio at one point to see how it was going and was happy to hear the local team was doing well.

Recently our city council had to consider ways to cut the budget 10%. I just wanted them to raise my taxes whatever amount was necessary to keep things going, and maintain the services we had. One of the things we lost was someone who taught people to play golf. I don’t play golf. I don’t want to learn to play golf. I don’t even want to watch people play golf. But, I want people who do want to learn to be able to do so at a price they can afford.

The time spent by the city in preparing budgets and redoing things and going over them, and by organizations and agencies doing the same trying to prevent being cut, and by the community members and board members that were summoned to speak on behalf of one viewpoint or anothe,r cost way more in lost productivity than the money we "saved."

I’m not saying we shouldn’t ever question things. I firmly believe in questioning authority and everything else. My number two rule for living is "question everything." But at some point, when it’s this sort of an increase, someone needs to exercise some common sense and do the most expedient thing, which was to raise taxes to address the short fall. We could have all paid an extra 27 cents and saved the weeks and weeks of fighting. I would have gladly paid the 27 cents for everyone on my block just to avoid ever hearing the phrase, "on the chopping block."

I’m not sure when we began to see all taxes as evil, instead of as a way to fund things we all benefit from. I’m not directly benefiting from the few dollars I have spent on the football stadium, but indirectly it is affecting me because it’s having an impact on the community in which I live. Part of living in a community is pooling our resources so we can have the benefit of many people working together to achieve something.

It’s kinda like a football team, really.
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I had a lovely note this afternoon from my friend, Martha. She directed me to this article by Scott Ginsberg, otherwise known as the "Hello My Name is Scott" guy.

Martha mentioned that she thought the fact that I was a prolific writer influenced how I think about the world. It’s always interesting to see yourself through other people’s eyes. I have never thought of myself as a "prolific" writer. However, the logic in me (sparse though it may be!) understands why someone who writes every day would be considered "prolific."

I’m flattered by his references to saying, "I’ve written about that…" because I find myself saying that often. Matthew remarked once when I was so excited to find a note pad in a hotel room that I couldn’t think without writing. To some degree he was correct about that.

Whenever I have something I need to think through I get out the pen and paper. If I have something that needs some creative thought I reach for paper. It is integral to the way I think. I’m fond of the "clustering" technique and use it regularly. As a matter of fact, I was using it today – perhaps as Martha was writing her note to me. Of course, anyone who has read here for any amount of time knows I often think "aloud" on the blog.

Martha’s note today has caused me to consider how writing impacts my world view. I guess I’ve never thought of it as an option. Since I could write, it has been the way I experience the world around me. It’s interesting how these things develop.

Obviously, there’s much more to think about on this topic.
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I have always had difficulty dealing with people’s pettiness. Now, of course, we’re all this way occasionally because something that’s important to one person isn’t to another.

What is most curious about this is why it affects me so much. I’ve always heard that the things that bug you most in other people are the things you dislike about yourself. So, I’ve been mulling this over today – just turning it over in the back of my mind – how petty am I about various things? If I were brave enough I’d ask friends, but so far I haven’t zapped that email off into the ether.

Today I was on the sidelines of an exchange where one person was being very petty, or so it seemed to me. I watched the other person skillfully manage the situation by not getting upset or dragged into the mire.

There are lessons here to be learned. Not the least of which is that I need to be cautious of my own reactions to things. The irony is not lost on me of how petty it is that I’m upset by other people’s pettiness. Life is strange, isn’t it?
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